Everything is falling apart. I haven’t felt this out of control ever. Not once in my entire life. I really don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m in a trap right now, and I really don’t see a way out. I don’t know if I’m happy anymore. Sometimes I’m not sure if it’s all me spiraling out of control, or if I’m reacting to what life has served up to me currently. I wish I could know what to do and stop complaining. This is the only place I know where I can write how I feel right now. So many empty journals in my house and none of them are safe. This computer isn’t even safe. Hopefully something positive happens. Soon.